S n a r k A t t a c k

Invisible Ink

What is it about tattoo parlors that they have the best signs?  I'm walking through the Mission and look up to see this most excellent neon sign, a big red arrow with the word TATTOO inside of it, which makes me immediately want to go inside and get inked up. 

And I don't even want a tattoo.

Of course I've thought of it.   Everyone's thought of it, right?  But I would never actually get one.  Don't get me wrong - you go ahead and get your full-on sleeves.  I'm just saying that I could never get one.  I'm simply too indecisive - what on earth what I possibly want tattooed on my body for the rest of my life?   I haven't a clue.   

I feel like I've spent the last twenty years wondering what I'd get, tattoo-wise, ever since I saw that first gloriously appealing sign.    I'd probably be on my death bed when it would hit me:  EXPIRATION DATE - with that day's date.  No - better yet, the next WEEK's date, so they could always say that I went before my time.

Get Up, Stand Up

Last night I went to Industrial Light & Magic's theater at the Presidio for a screening of "I Am Legend."  One of the perks of being in the Writers' Guild is that you get to see movies for free, courtesy of the studios who want you to help their films gets nominated for stuff.  No one's sent me any ballots for anything but so long as they invite me to special screenings to movies under the guise of "For Your Consideration..", I'll happily go.  Better, maybe, is that I've started getting DVD's of these movies, which I thought was mostly going to be smaller, arty flicks that were hard to find in theaters, but then I got a copy of 'Knocked Up' (including a copy of the screenplay - woot!) and that theory went to hell.   

So far I've gotten 3:10 to Yuma, Away from Her, Zodiac, the Kite Runner and a couple of others, all of which I'm looking forward to watching in the comfort of home.  Paycheck, smaycheck - at least we'll be entertained.

As for the screening, it was neat just seeing something at ILM because I am precisely the kind of geek who gets excited about things like a life-sized model of Darth Vader.  Or Boba Fett.   Or the Ethan Allen-y bookcases which feature a number of light sabers used in the Star Wars films.  That's just cool.   

In January, I think one of the films I RSVP'd to see - Juno - will be at Pixar, which is along the same lines in terms of 'how excited I am about the venue' versus 'how excited I am just to see the movie.'  In other words, the venue is total icing on the cake.   

BTW, I never saw Omega Man, so I don't have that to compare it to, but I will say that I Am Legend kept me on the edge of my seat the entire time, to the point where after one particularly harrowing sequence, the guy next to me looked over at me and I could feel him laughing at how tense I was.  After the movie was over, I told him I felt like I just ran a marathon, and we overheard a bunch of other people talking about how exhausted they were.  Seriously, the movie had me hooked. 

In other news, like you, I have been shopping.  (I say 'like you,' because I like to think that you are not heartless meanies and have people for whom you would venture out into the great unwashed masses at Borders, Macy's and the Gap.)  Perhaps unlike you, I found myself at the fragrance counter at Macy's, because the GF and I had left various perfumes in LA and thought perfume up here in SF might not be a bad idea.  So I was on the hunt for something new.

People, when I shop, you can tell I am on a mission.  I do not dawdle when I am on a mission and I do not mess around.   Which was picked up on by the sole man - straight! - working the perfume counter at Macy's.  After some niceties were exchanged, niceties which were rote and insincere on both sides - I just want to discern as quickly as possible whether this man can help me or if he'll just be a waste of my time, while he just wants to make the quickest sale he can - we established that I was a bona fide customer, someone actually in the market for perfume, the very thing he was charged with selling that day.

My question to you, then, is DO I LOOK LIKE SOMEONE WHO WANTS TO SMELL LIKE PARIS HILTON?